You ≠ Failure

I was recently reading a thread on a community entitled “How Clean is Your Home…Really?” The author of the original post was explaining how she feels like she’s failing at keeping a clean home. She was curious what other homes were like. Countless women stepped up to reassure this mother that she was not alone.

I know many of you would reach out and give this woman the same reassurance. But how many of you give yourself the same grace when it comes to your own home?

I’m sure you can recall when you were a new bride. Your house was spotless. You vacuumed, swept and mopped every day. You cleaned the bathroom at least once a week. The dishes were always done. The laundry was always washed, dried, folded AND put away. And even if you weren’t quite as rigorous as that, you were at least on top of things.

And then your first bundle of joy arrives. Suddenly, you’re wondering what happened to that woman who could do it all. Did baby brain eat your cleaning skills? Why are such simple tasks like sweeping, dishes or laundry suddenly such mountains of challenge?? There must only be one answer: You are a failure.

Does that sound familiar?

I’m mean, I’m a pretty laid back person and even I question if I got the dumb about house cleaning. Sometimes, I sit down at the end of the day and wonder what exactly I did because my to-do list looks remarkably unchecked.

It's nice to have something tangible to see and experience in order to measure your daily success. I know I always got great satisfaction at the end of the day as I rattled off to David what I had accomplished and he could see my amazing work.

But now, my accomplishments are not so tangible. Or are they?

Take a look at your child/children and answer me one simple question: Are they alive? Well, pat yourself on the back. There is a really big, tangible clue that you are doing something right!

Yet we sigh and feel this sad little twinge in our gut and say, “I know...but…”

And that’s where you just need to stop that train of thought and refresh your perspective.

Your life will experience a range of phases. With each phase comes difference experiences, joys and challenges. We must give ourselves a break and remember that we are accomplishing a lot by caring for our young ones

Just think how vulnerable and helpless a young child is. They depend on you for everything. That’s a lot of work and it should be your focus. You are caring for and nurturing the soul of another human being. You get the honor and joy of loving and teaching these little ones. Don’t ever trivialize this job by thinking yourself a failure because other areas of your life don’t get as much attention. That’s how it should be!

Keeping striving to do what you can. But please don’t feel frustrated and dejected if your home is not pristine. It is a phase. It will pass soon enough. Just remember, your home will always be around to clean, but your children will grow up before your very eyes. Enjoy being their mom and the special role you get to play in their life.